Choosing to Die
A Daughter’s Story Of Supporting Her Mother’s End Of Life Through Assisted Death
In November last year, Theresa E. Evans reached out to us. She has written a book about supporting her mother through her decision to pursue MAiD and asked whether we would read an advance digital copy and consider offering a review or endorsement.
When someone entrusts us with their personal story, we do not hesitate to read it. Choosing to Die: A Daughter’s Story of Supporting her Mother’s End of Life Through Assisted Death is a beautifully poignant story of love, loss, and legacy. We are so grateful that Evans shared an advance copy with us, and we are honoured to offer our wholehearted support and endorsement of this book.
Evans is a registered nurse. She spent years caring for some of the most acutely ill patients in both ICU and cardiac care and surely stood at many bedsides in the final hours of a patient’s life. She would have witnessed countless goodbyes and supported families through the fragile space between presence and loss — a role many in healthcare regard as a privilege.
Yet no amount of years spent at the bedside truly prepares us for accompanying our own loved one through their final months, days, or hours. But Evans and her two sisters did exactly that when it came to their mother, supporting her for months as they prepared for her MAiD provision — chosen intentionally on her 80th birthday.
We see something very poetic about choosing to die on the same day of your birth. It gives a sense of a completed life, like the closing of a circle. That decision invites us to reflect on whether the measure of a life is found in its duration, or in its wholeness. There is something deeply human in choosing the latter.
With profound honesty, Evans acknowledges that time is both a gift and a burden, gracefully juxtaposing the desire for a loved one to be free from suffering with the heartache of not being ready to say goodbye. In Evans’ own words, she would “learn it is possible to hold dread and wonder at the same time.” Even in the darkness, Evans describes a steady sense of light and meaning found in each remaining moment. Through thoughtful reflection, we are invited into her journey of loss and anticipatory grief, but also into the way her family remained tethered to one another for support. As she writes, “We didn’t fall apart. Instead, we fell into the magic and mystery of what was happening.”
Evans weaves the evolution of her mother’s garden alongside the family’s shared months of preparation for her mother’s medically assisted death. She highlights the distinct features of each flower, set against the changing seasons, to guide us through their shared experience. Together, they find ways to honour their mother and each other through the living legacy of her garden, shared and carried forward with love.
“From that moment on, she will live in my heart. She will live in my memories. She will live in the DNA that migrated from her cells and helped create my cells.”
Enter to win a free copy
We enjoyed reading Choosing to Die so much we’ve decided to purchase and send a copy to five lucky readers. Here are the conditions:
You must have a Canadian address we can send it to as it will be coming via amazon.ca (sorry to all our readers outside of Canada!!!)
You must be willing to provide us with your mailing address (if you are selected) so that we can send it directly to you via Amazon.
If you’d like to have your name entered into the draw for one of the five copies, please leave a comment or send us a private message below by the end of March 5. We’ll randomly select five names on March 6 and reach out to the recipients directly for shipping details.
Thank you again to Theresa E. Evans for sharing this beautiful story with us.
For those who want to more information about the book or the author see links below.
Theresa E. Evans Website - https://theresaeevans.com/
Substack Choosing Death - https://substack.com/@theresaeevans
Goodreads.com - https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/61560898.Theresa_E_Evans
I would be honoured to receive a copy of this book. Both my parents died with MAID 2 months apart and I have just become a volunteer with MFSS and Bridge C14 so I can hopefully help others who are struggling or seeking peer support.
I am a peer support volunteer with MAiD Family Support Society having experienced my son’s death with MAiD in 2017. I admire Theresa’s ability to share her experience with others. It will be beneficial to those I support both in my volunteer role and as a grief counsellor and end of life doula. Thank you Theresa.